Please, thank you, sorry: lütfen, teşekkür, özür, rica

The idea

Four phrases carry most politeness: lütfen (please) goes at the start or end of a request, teşekkür ederim (thank you) and özür dilerim (I am sorry) are written as two words, and rica ederim (you are welcome) is the reply to thanks. Between friends sağ ol and pardon are lighter; to strangers and elders say teşekkür ederim and affedersiniz.

Examples

• Bir çay, lütfen.A tea, please.Lütfen can open or close the request; the noun alone is enough, with no verb.
• Geç kaldım, özür dilerim.I'm late, I'm sorry.Özür dilerim is written as two words and is a full apology on its own; the subject is already inside dilerim.
• Çok teşekkür ederim, Ayşe Hanım.Thank you very much, Ms Ayşe.Hanım after a woman's first name is polite; for a man the word is Bey. Çok makes the thanks stronger.
• Rica ederim.You're welcome.This is the answer to thanks. Lütfen would sound like a new request instead.
• Hesap, lütfen.The bill, please.
• Pardon, bu yer boş mu?Excuse me, is this seat free?Pardon gets someone's attention or excuses a small bump. The question particle mu is written apart from boş.
• Sağ ol, Can.Thanks, Can.Sağ ol is for friends and people your age or younger; to elders and strangers say sağ olun or teşekkür ederim.
• Affedersiniz, istasyon nerede?Excuse me, where is the station?Affedersiniz is the polite form for strangers and elders and opens a question; with friends pardon is enough.
• Bir şey değil.It's nothing.A relaxed alternative to rica ederim among friends; değil is written as a separate word.

Watch out

Do not answer thanks with lütfen. It is not the all-purpose English "please" used as a reply: after Teşekkür ederim comes Rica ederim (with friends bir şey değil), otherwise it sounds like a new request.

Try it yourself

1. Answer the thanks: you're welcome.

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   rica

   rica: this is the reply to thanks; the phrase rica ederim fills the gap, not lütfen.

2. Close the request politely: the bill, please.

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   lütfen

   lütfen: Hesap names what you want, and lütfen closes the request politely; no verb is needed.

3. Apologise for being late: I'm sorry.

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   özür

   özür: özür dilerim literally means "I ask for pardon"; the "I" is already inside dilerim.

4. Thank a friend casually: thanks.

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   ol

   ol: between friends sağ ol is the light form; to an elder you would say sağ olun or teşekkür ederim.

Use it today

Write a three-line café dialogue: you order, thank the waiter, and the waiter answers. Underline every polite word.