In-group and out-group perspective

The idea

When speaking directly to your manager, use respectful language for their actions, such as いらっしゃいます. When speaking to a customer about your manager, your company is your in-group: use the unadorned surname and humble 参ります. Use 母 for your own mother to an outsider and お母さん for someone else’s.

Examples

• 部長ぶちょう、明日あしたは何時なんじにいらっしゃいますか。Manager, what time will you come tomorrow?
• 部長ぶちょうの田中たなかは、明日あした参まいります。Our department manager Tanaka will come tomorrow.
• 先生せんせいが資料しりょうをくださいました。The teacher gave me the materials.
• 母ははが駅えきまで迎むかえに行いきます。My mother will come to the station to meet you.
• 山田やまださんのお母かあさんはお元気げんきですか。Is your mother well, Yamada?
• 社長しゃちょうはただいま席せきを外はずしております。Our company president is away from their desk at the moment.

Watch out

In-group membership is relative to the situation, not a fixed rank. Do not use respectful forms for your own group to elevate it over a customer; choose an appropriate polite tone for the listener.

Try it yourself

1. お客きゃくさんに自分じぶんの部長ぶちょうについて：田中たなかは明日あした＿。（参まいります／いらっしゃいます）

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   参ります

   参ります humbly describes your manager’s coming to a customer.

2. 部長ぶちょうに直接ちょくせつ：明日あした、＿か。（いらっしゃいます／参まいります）

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   いらっしゃいます

   いらっしゃいます respectfully refers to the manager addressed directly.

3. 他人たにんに自分じぶんの母親ははおやについて：＿が行いきます。（母はは／お母かあさん）

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   母

   母 refers modestly to your own mother when speaking to someone outside the family.

Use it today

For each situation, identify the listener and select the form that fits the person being discussed.